"Speaking in quotes"
Speaking in quotes is a very powerful way to verbally convey a direct message or instruction in an indirect way.
Quotes allow you to get your message across and neatly bypass any resistance that may arise from the person you are communicating with.
The first time I read about about this pattern (quotes) I remember saying to myself "This pattern is so easy you've just got to learn how to do it" and that's exactly what I did.
When we wish to communicate clearly and effectively with other people we tend to be very direct in our communication. By being very direct and explicit in our communication we leave the other person in no doubt about what we want, what we want them to do, how we want them to do it etc.
One drawback in this method of communication is that it can trigger resistance from the other person - they may not want to do what we ask or they may not want to do it exactly how we want them to.
Now you may say "Nobody likes to be told what to do" and you'd be right.
"How can we communicate precisely in a way that doesn't give rise to resistance?", I hear you ask. The answer is to put your communication inside quotes.
Speaking in quotes is really easy to do - think of something you want to say, put it in quotes and attribute it to someone else:-
I remember watching a movie about a guy who could never make his mind up and his best friend said to him "....just stop wasting time and make your mind up already, if you don't like your choice you can change it later".
Quotes can be used in many ways including:-
- Giving commands - A book I once read said "...if you only learn one NLP pattern, learn to use quotes" and I did.
- Imparting wisdom - a fitness instructor friend of mine told me "...one of the best things you can do for health is learn to relax and unwind fully each day" and he was right.
- Speaking the unspeakable - "...some people are just so rude and inconsiderate that they deserve to be slapped - arrogant @!~@##*!, wouldn't you agree? "
When I decided to write about speaking in quotes on this website I said to myself "quotes is such a powerful and flexible technique and so easy to learn that those who read it will already be thinking about how they can use it even before they reach the end of the article"
And I bet you are, aren't you?